The Phantastic Apparition Social Society Presents: A Murder of Sorts at Unlivington Manor, Chapter 5
When the Phantastic Apparition Social Society rushed out of the library and into the music room, they expected to discover a gruesome scene, but it was still a shock to find Polly hanging from a harp with a violin bow around her neck, her feet plucking out a very erratic tune as they brushed against the strings.
“I can’t separate myself to pass through this bow,” she wheezed. “Can someone please help me?”
Mildred motioned for Shaughnessy to help her pull Polly down, which needed to be done gingerly as a smashed crystal flute was all over the floor. “I have to say, not being able to pass through objects freely while here makes a lot more sense knowing the manor’s been under a curse. No one should be able to wrap a violin bow around your neck; you should move right through it.”
As they brought Polly down, Camille pointed to the wall. “Polly’s been re-alived, that’s why! Look! Blood!”
Bright vermilion stains covered the walls, and the sight of them threw Polly into such a frenzied fit, that if there had ever been neighbours in these woods, these screams would have convinced them to move. Polly began flailing every limb, and her voice reached new frequencies as she shrieked, “I’m re-alived?! No! I can’t be! It’s not possible! How did it happen?! How did she do this to me?! How did she do it?!” Her hair fell into her eyes, making Polly all the more terrifying as she popped around the room like a corn kernel. With no regard for anyone in her way, every ghost had to step aside for their own safety. As Polly screeched and twitched, Shaughnessy decided to put the room at ease.
He sang in the direction of the percussion instruments. “Let’s calm Polly down at once, at once, she’s causing a catastrophic fuss!” With that, a tambourine smacked her on the head and she collapsed into a whimpering heap.
“Thank you Shaughnessy, we were all thinking it,” Vincenzo was looking at Polly, trying to find a stream of blood, but there was none. “You don’t seem to be bleeding, but I can’t see your neck under all that hair.”
Mildred helped Polly to her feet. “Yes, it seems you’ve lost your hair ribbon, and I’ll give you my opinion, it really didn’t suit your outfit. You’re in shades of orange and yellow, why on earth would you wear a lavender hair ribbon? Lavender’s not you, it’s more something,” she paused, “Iggy would wear.”
Camille chimed in. “Why do you have Iggy’s hair ribbon, Polly?”
Polly’s lower lip quivered. “No reason.”
Rex pointed the violin bow at Polly as if he had drawn a sword. “You’ve been hanging on to Iggy’s hair ribbon all night, and all you can say is there’s no reason?”
Polly sighed. “There’s never any reason, I just like things! Pretty things, sharp things, all things! They’re mine! Mine!”
Camille rubbed her neck. “Possessive ghosts are a nightmare.”
Mildred tapped her foot. “By my calculations, we have approximately two minutes before Todd comes in with the salad course, so start talking,” she pointed to the stained wall. “Is this Iggy? Do you know where she is? Were you in a fight? Is it because you re-alived her after Rex sent her flying through a fireplace?”
Polly moaned, “That’s too many questions.”
“Well, we’ve all been under questioning this evening, Polly, so it’s time you spoke up!” Camille had had enough. “Mildred’s been on the spot, Vinenzo’s had his head nearly stabbed, Shaughnessy’s skull is deformed, Rex has been under fire, and I’ve been shoved into a trunk. So why don’t you explain why you have Iggy’s hair ribbon. Or why her blood is on this wall. Or why there were two screams coming from this very room. Or better yet, why not explain how, after ten years of practically ignoring Iggy every party, you’re suddenly upset and trying to stop her blood in the ballroom? I don’t think anyone has heard you speak a full sentence to her—you’re always slumping and ignoring Iggy, and now it’s obvious you’re trying to cover up your crime by hiding her! How did we not see this before? It’s Polly!”
Vincenzo pursed his lips. “If we split up, we can find Iggy, and Polly can make her a ghost again to reset everything back to paranormal. I’ll get the candlestick. And you,” he curled a lip at Polly, “burn her straight to the heart. I’ll be in the ballroom, the rest of you spread out. Let’s move fast. The chef is not my favourite, but she does make a mean dessert.”
As everyone started to separate, Polly’s voice rang out. “No, don’t hurt her!”
“She’ll be much more comfortable back as a ghost, return to the afterlife, return to the afterlife!” Shaughnessy rubbed his deformed skull as he headed for the door.
No one was paying any attention to Polly, so she came clean and yelled, “Iggy was never a ghost!”
Everyone exchanged a look. What was Polly rambling on about?
Polly gulped and continued. “Iggy isn’t a ghost. She’s a human.”
Mildred scoffed. “Then why is she attending our dinner parties? Enough nonsense, Polly.”
For a being without blood, Polly’s cheeks flushed an incredible red. “I’ve been, you might say, possessing her. She’s human. And I don’t think someone tried to re-alive her tonight, they tried to kill her. And if you think that’s bad,” Polly stood up. “Mildred ordered Todd to secure the exits, and he thought this was all a fun bit of dinner theatre, and decided to play along, and he did secure them with that high-tech security system Mildred paid for last year. What we have is a twenty-seven-year-old human woman who thinks a group of people are out to kill her, and she can’t get out of the manor. The dagger tied to the ceiling, the globe flying towards the passageway, and the bow around my neck, is her way of fighting back. So, we’re in a bit of a pickle.”
“What did you just say?” Daisy and Todd were in the doorway, arms full of arugula salad, and faces as white as … well, that metaphor is a bit crass, now. They were terrified. Catering to ghosts was something they could handle. Catering to an attempted murder of an innocent human by six angry spirits was a level of stress neither wanted at this point in their careers. It took them no time at all to realize they were now a liability, and both thought to do what had saved them from that infamous party hosted by that famous celebrity, which was to make a mad dash for the nearest bathroom and crawl out the window. But Vincenzo had other plans and knocked their heads together, causing them to flop unconsciously onto the floor. Salad scattered.
Rex rubbed his temples. “In all my years of being cursed, this evening is honestly the worst.”
“I’ll killed them quickly and be done with it,” Vincenzo rolled up his sleeves.
“No,” Mildred stopped Vincenzo before he could do anything. “I know we all agreed that a dead caterer is better than a blabbering caterer, but think practically. If what Polly said is true, we have a human unaccounted for, with a very real chance that she may escape. If we also have two dead caterers, this manor will be swarming with cops, and Unlivington Manor will live in historical archives with a stain on its name.”
“What do you care, Mildred?” Rex huffed. “The manor is named after my family!”
“And for generations, the parties that have been hosted in it have been organized by mine! Parties that have gone down in history! I will not have my family’s good name in the town records besmirched by a dead cook and butler.”
Rex raised his eyebrows. “That’s a level of arrogance even for you.”
Mildred pushed Rex aside and reached into her skirts, pulling a tiny bottle out from the folds. She opened their mouths and dropped some liquid in, then reached into a boot to pull out a large handful of money. “These drugs shall knock them out for a while, and this is enough for payment. So should cops storm the manor, it will look as if they catered a party similar to the lavish events hosted here years past. No one will question having no knowledge of it since they were always so exclusive. And with this in their bloodstream, no one will believe a word they say. Now,” Mildred turned to Polly. “Let’s get back to what Polly has told us.”
As everyone moved towards Polly, she defended herself by hiding behind the harp. “I’ll explain, just give me space, no need to lose your tempers.” She took a deep breath, and clarified just how Iggy came to join the Phantastic Apparition Social Society.
“It was ten years ago. I was tired of possessing objects, so I thought I’d try possessing a human. I arrived early for our party, saw Iggy down the road, and invited her in for tea. When she was sitting on the sofa I tried to hop on in, and it worked! Then you all arrived, I panicked, and said I was Iggy the innocent ghost, and you believed me. It was fun, so I kept it up.”
“How?!” The all asked in confusion.
“Well it’s been difficult! Every time I jump out of her body it needs to reset, which is why you all think she has narcolepsy, and every time I’m in her body, my essence just floats. That’s why you all think—“
Rex finished her sentence. “That’s why we all think you hate her, because you never say a word when she’s around. Has she never been alert in here before?”
Polly thought. “Well, there have been a few times where she’s gone running out in terror, but when she’s being possessed she has no memory. She really does think she has narcolepsy.”
“So that’s why she asked me about the book in the library,” Mildred murmured, “she was putting it together.”
Polly bit her lip. “No, that was me. I wanted to send her home with a book so she could understand more about what was going on, even though I know it’s not what was really going on. I just wanted her to feel comforted, or, I don’t know, I was feeling guilty. I was in too deep! So, as Shaughnessy sang and my spirit floated in the conservatory, I walked as Iggy with Mildred until she rushed off. Then I stood in the library sipping a cocktail, looking for a book on narcolepsy. But I don’t remember getting hit by the globe or falling through a trap door, because I got this wave of nausea, and hopped back into my spirit in the conservatory. It was a complete surprise to me to find Iggy like that in the ballroom.”
Vincenzo crossed his arms. “She hasn’t aged in ten years.”
“Yes she has, you’re just a bit of an idiot.”
Vincenzo growled, but everyone stopped and realized that yes, come to think of it, Iggy had gotten older. Ghosts are very self-centred, and the Society had clearly missed the signs. Iggy the innocent ghost was Iggy the human, and what had once been thought of as a re-aliving spell was more accurately attempted murder.
Mildred turned up her nose. “This is all your fault, Polly.”
Polly stepped out from behind the harp, suddenly emboldened with a furious confidence. “No, it’s not. I didn’t gather an eyelash planning on re-aliving her, Camille. I didn’t set a trap to lock her up underground, Rex. I didn’t beat her body with a weapon,” she glared at the other three spirits. “I would have been able to calmly place her on a bed for the rest of the evening if her body hadn’t gotten so nauseous.” Suddenly, Polly pointed to Daisy and Todd on the floor. “Drugs. Mildred drugged her. On the walk to the library, she put drugs in her drink.”
All eyes were back on Mildred. Camille, Shaughnessy, Vincenzo, and Rex laughed. The high and mighty Mildred, who thought she had cleared her name before the soup course, had played a very unpleasant part in this crime. Shaughnessy picked up some fallen arugula, revelling in this reveal, as Camille perched atop the piano.
Mildred gave an exhausted sigh. “I did, yes. She was always falling asleep mid-course, it was incredibly rude! I thought if she could pass the evening sleeping somewhere quiet, the party wouldn’t be disrupted by her slumped over body and her snoring. You can barely make conversation over it. I know this may not be my home, but I do arrange these parties, and there’s an element of etiquette to adhere to! Snoring at the table is not permitted. So I drugged her, but did nothing else. That is on Camille and Rex.”
Camille interrupted, “And the culprit with a weapon who has yet to—ahhh!” She went flying across the room, toppled into the harp, which fell on top of Mildred, whose boot tripped Shaughnessy into Vincenzo, who knocked over a double bass onto Rex, who tossed the violin bow right into Polly’s eye, for just then, Iggy had come running into the music room with a flower pot, and thew it at Camille with a yell.
